Ephesians 4:15 - Our Prenuptial Agreement

Before we got married, my wife and I had a prenuptial agreement. It wasn't the financial kind you're thinking of, but it had two parts:

1. We would always have books in the house. My wife wanted plenty of reading material and we've more than succeeded on that score.
2. We would never use sarcasm. We experienced enough of that before marriage and didn't want it multiplying and festering in our home.

In the Bible, God and his prophets sometimes invoke sarcasm to prod stubborn people to return to God. Most other people use it simply to put other people down.

Instead of sarcasm, people sometimes--as my wife puts it--"joke on the sly." They are irritated and rather than speaking plainly to the issue, they make a joke--with a bit of a bite to it. Then to put up a smokescreen that ends any productive discussion, they add, "I'm just joking!"

Neither sarcasm or "joking on the sly" result in healing or restoring relationships. Both are underhanded alternatives to what Paul taught the Ephesians, to "Speak the Truth in Love." (Ephesians 4:15) 

Some people take that verse to mean, "As long as you're confronting someone with truth, then you're doing them a favor, and therefore it's 'in love.'" Confrontation of that sort rarely wins people over to the truth.

A better paraphrase would be, "Speak the truth in a way that leaves the people knowing that they're loved."

Jesus, You were a master at knowing when to use comforting words, and when to use confronting words. But You never left people doubting Your love. Give us courage to speak Your truth to others, and love to show Your heart to them. Amen.